Helen My name is Helen. I’m a daughter of Bwobo Ma Nam (village). When my father died, I remained with my mother and we would go together to farm the land. I didn’t get an education because it was said that girls shouldn’t get an education, if they do, they become prostitutes. I used to work with my mother until I became a big girl.
My elder brother married and the money was borrowed from my maternal relatives because I was still too young to get married. Before he got married, my brother used to beat me that I didn’t want to bring bride wealth. [23] I wasn’t yet mature enough to get married.
Then later I met my present husband and I had my own home. I should have been happily married but then I begun to face more problems. My husband began beating me. I was in the same circumstance as before I got married. How will I survive in this world? God if you could listen, please kill me so that the world remains without me, I told myself.
He broke my hand. I went home and my family treated me with ‘cassava powder’. [24] Then I returned [to my husband]. I came back for my children. I wanted to take care of the children.
Interviewer Why was your husband beating you?
Helen My husband was beating me because he thought that I was worthless. His relatives were saying; ‘She is barren. Chase her away. Why do you let her control you.’
Interviewer Did you try Acholi medicines?
Helen I also tried Acholi medicine. I tried different ones, from almost sixty people (herbalists). I drunk their herbs but they didn’t work. I went to Kitgum (hospital) six times. I also went to Lira (hospital) four times. All these times they never scanned my womb. I asked them to scan my womb but they never did. They would only give me tablets to swallow. I would say to them that these medicines that you are giving me will not heal me if you haven’t scanned my womb. My relatives worked hard so that I could get children. If God had accepted I would have had my child. But God didn’t accept.
He beat me again and I went to live with my relatives. He later came and brought me back to his house. He continued to beat me. He broke my hand again. Then I asked him, ‘you broke my hand, will I again go back to my relatives to be treated?’ My relatives wanted me to take the case to the police.
Honestly some members of my family are born again Christians and they asked me to forgive him, ‘even if he had done so many things to you only God knows and he will revenge accordingly’. ‘God will give you a better future even if he has not blessed you with children’, they said.
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| Euan Denholm/IRIN |
I got the letter from the police and I decided to let go of everything and forgive him. He brought other children to the home. His brother had died of AIDS. My brother also died of AIDS, and his wives. The other children I had also became orphans. Their father also died. I gathered all of them. They are seven of them that I’m taking care of.
Then my husband began to acknowledge and say that my wife who people say is barren is actually useful. She is helping the clan. She is taking care of the children who are orphans. I’m taking care of the children very well. I don’t discriminate against any of them. I would have been happier but then the problem of rebels.
The rebels have caused more problems. They cut my buttocks and my breast. Then I later also got shot in an ambush.
Interviewer Tell us how you were protecting yourself during the insecurity?
Helen When they were fighting in the camp we would run because if they find you in the garden they would kill you. I was the first to run in the camp and the rest of the people followed me. Sometimes they would send people to other people’s places and they would come and kill you and yet you have nothing. You survive then someone else comes again.
Now I brew alcohol. I get 2,000 Uganda shillings [25] for my cash box and 2,000 Uganda shillings for food. I feed all the children that I have, no one has given me money to keep them. I don’t have clothes. I don’t even have shoes that are distributed in the camps. I walk bare footed like a mad woman. Let them laugh at me, even those who point at my back. Let them do it. That’s life. If God gives you problems you welcome them with open hands. Don’t throw it to anyone. You keep your problems, you don’t throw it to anyone.
I tell my children to get serious with their education. These days it’s hard to teach children in the camps. You sit them down and then talk to them. In a short time you go to the well, you find that the children have gone roaming.
These children’s rights that people are talking about have empowered children. They don’t listen to the teaching of their parents. Every now and then you hear that they are paying school fees for children here and there in the camps. I’m all alone and I have received no assistance. The assistance that people receive in the camps, I don’t.
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[23] In Acholi tradition a woman’s bride wealth usually in the form of cows, is used by her brother should he wish to marry
[24] Powder made from pounding dried cassava
[25] Equivalent to just over US $1